Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
