I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
