Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
