I haven't been this sober since birth.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
