So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
