Someone shit on the floor
i would punch a child for taco bell
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize