don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
