Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
