Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just cropdusted the office
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
