I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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