She's JV to your varsity
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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