I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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