Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
