loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
