How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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