I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
