If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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