im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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