This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
