Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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