I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
