I wish I could teleport
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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