I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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