yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
