I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I cut my penus on the lid.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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