he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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