that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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