I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
