Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
