i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
