did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
