I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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