I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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