he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize