"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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