Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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