I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
