I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
