Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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