She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
