the condom got lost in my hair
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
