I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
