Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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