dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
