i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
