Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
