She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
