so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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