My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
