Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
