Porn is love you can see.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
