i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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