I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
