OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Welp...herpes.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
