kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
