She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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