But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize