yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Let's get the cat blown out
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
