giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
