hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
