if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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