Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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