She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize