Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
