6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
