I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
